


Leave all the leavers, Keep all the keepers

by Francine2869



Series: Never have to ask myself what if... [3]
Category: Sen Çal Kapımı (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29237175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Francine2869/pseuds/Francine2869
Summary: I'm trying to keep a small amount of hope alive that there's a way Aydan will be redeemed in some way but at the moment I'm just sad for Eda and how she seems to be fighting the battle to "save" Serkan on her own. I hope a few other people step up in Episode 30.Check out this video for some of their best moments!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf9FaJ9lWfc&t=1s&ab_channel=ralouspring
Series: Never have to ask myself what if... [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136675
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Leave all the leavers, Keep all the keepers

_**~*~** _

Eda's settled herself outside at one of the small tables along the front of the building. She's starting to suffocate in the office with everyone watching her, wondering what her next move will be and pitying her for sticking around when it's clear Serkan wants nothing to do with her. She's stuck in a revolving door of grief and she can't get out. Anger, denial, bargaining, depression... it's exhausting trying to pretend that she's ok when she's nowhere near acceptance. 

Someone clears their throat behind her and she turns her head to see Aydan looking at her with sad eyes.

"Eda, dear - do you have a minute?"

Her blood burns when she thinks about the last time she spoke to the older woman. Being blindsided by _Selin_ of all people with the news that Aydan had been in contact with Serkan soon after he went missing was a blow that had knocked her back in ways she'd never thought it would.

When they sat together for a moment at the hamam and Aydan spoke of Eda possibly calling her mother sometime in the future Eda's mind had immediately rejected the idea - the memory of her own mother was a very important part of her and giving that title to anyone else seemed impossible but she had grown to love Aydan in her own right, not just as a part of Serkan's life so when Eda was trying to find a way to describe their relationship she knew it needed to be something more than mother-in-law. Aydan had been a friend, a confidant, a mentor, a support in so many ways once she'd gotten over her initial dislike of Eda.

Those first few days after Serkan had gone missing Aydan had been the only person that Eda could count on to understand the ache that consumed her. Not knowing where he was, if he was okay, if they'd ever see him again... it was all she could think about and as much as everyone else tried to sympathize she only had to look into Aydan's eyes to find a kindred spirit. In the days and then weeks that followed his disappearance Serkan's mother was the only constant support Eda could rely on. Her friends were helpful but they eventually resumed their lives and decided that she should do the same, subtly but consistently pushing her to give up hoping for his return and accept the reality that Serkan was most likely dead and never coming back.

In the quiet moments she shared with Aydan it was the only time Eda could feel a modicum of peace, a strengthening of the hope that was the only thing keeping her on her feet most days. And the entire time it turned out that this woman who proclaimed to care so much about her had been hiding the one truth that had hurt her the most. 

"Aydan Hanim," Eda answered as she started to gather her papers and closed her laptop, "I was just about to head to a meeting. Serkan's in his office."

Aydan grabbed Eda's arm as she started to brush by her.

"Eda, _please_. Just a moment."

When Eda looked down the street and tried to hold up the walls she'd started to rebuild around her heart Aydan slid her hand into Eda's and squeezed tight.

"I know I hurt you. I know that keeping that phone call from you was a mistake but I didn't know he was -"

At her pause Eda turned.

"Was what - injured, upset, in pain, alone...?"

Aydan shook her head.

"I didn't know how confused he was, that he'd forgotten so much. From what Selin said -"

" _Ugh_ , I don't even want to hear her name!"

Eda pulled her hand away and threw her things back onto table before pacing away.

Two of the firm's junior architects came up the sidewalk and went quickly into the building, whispering to each other as soon as they were inside the doors. Eda didn't even notice them.

"I don't need you to be her mouthpiece too. I hear enough of her lies coming out of Serkan's mouth lately."

"Believe me I don't trust her either-"

"Really? _Really_ Aydan? How can you expect me to believe that when you left your only remaining son in her care for two months!"

It was a low blow but if Aydan could use the death of one son to justify her blind loyalty to the other then Eda was going to remind her of it. 

"Was one phone call seriously enough for you? Did you demand to talk to his doctors or say you wanted a video call so you could see him or ... or-" she threw her hands up, "do _anything_ besides chat with Serkan for a few minutes?"

Aydan wrung her hands and avoided Eda's gaze.

" _ **Well**_?!"

"I didn't actually speak to Serkan."

At Eda's incredulous look Aydan took a step back.

"I heard his voice but Selin said that he needed to rest and I was just so relieved to hear that he was _alive_ and -"

"So _Selin_ told you that Serkan didn't want you to tell me he was alive? And that didn't sound _at all_ suspicious - his ex girlfriend that moved to another country telling you that he didn't want to talk to his fiance?"

Eda sighed and tugged on her hair in frustration - wishing there was something at hand to throw and smash against the sidewalk. As she paced something else occurred to her.

"Leaving all of _that_ aside - why didn't you go to him? Didn't you want to see him for yourself and make sure that he was being take care of?"

Aydan shrugged sadly, her eyes filling with tears.

"At first I didn't know where they were - I knew Serkan had been discharged from the hospital and I assumed he would be returning as soon as possible but Sel- _that woman_ told me that he needed a few days to recover before making the trip. I didn't have a number to reach them and by the time I heard from them again they'd already decided that staying for a couple weeks would be better."

" _They, they, they_! Aydan wake up - Serkan had no choice, no say in any of those decisions! Selin was controlling both of you - and she still is!"

Aydan had tears running down her cheeks as she grabbed both of Eda's hands.

"I can see that now - please believe me, I see her true face and what she's trying to do. But you can't let her!"

" ** _Me_**?! How am I supposed to fix this? Why is it all on me? Serkan has plenty of friends that could step up and tell him what Selin's doing, we can all see it. Have you talked to him?"

"I've _tried_!" Aydan cried. "He's so cold and doesn't want to listen to a bad word about Selin. _I'm scared_ _Eda_! I can't lose him again! If I push him away he might... I just can't!" She started crying in earnest and Eda was helpless to stop herself from comforting the other woman with a hug. A moment later she'd calmed down and Eda dropped her arms to her sides. 

"I know you're scared because I am too," Eda confessed.

"Where are we supposed to go from here? I feel like I'm drowning everyday waiting for a moment, a glimpse of the man that I know is still in there."

"He loves you _so much_ Eda, I know it - my son wants to spend the rest of his life with you." 

Aydan brushed away Eda's own tears with a soft touch.

"He'll remember - he has to!"

Eda smiled sadly and squeezed Aydan's hand before pulling it from her face.

"That's just the thing. He doesn't _have_ to do anything. Serkan could be like this for the rest of his life and never remember me."

She silently gathered her papers and laptop, not looking at Aydan.

"We have to accept that. Unless Serkan suddenly stops fighting us and someday wants to remember there's nothing we can do to force him - as much as I want that I'm starting to realize that I'll only lose myself if I keep trying."

The door opened and the man himself stepped out, arm in arm with a smiling Selin. He looked between Eda and his mother curiously.

"Mom? Is everything alright?"

Aydan brushed away a few last tears and tried to catch Eda's gaze.

"Mom?"

Eda drew on the last of her strength and pasted a smile on her face.

"Thank you for your concern Aydan Hanim. I need to get back to work now."

She brushed past Serkan's shoulder into the building and didn't look back.

_**~*~** _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to keep a small amount of hope alive that there's a way Aydan will be redeemed in some way but at the moment I'm just sad for Eda and how she seems to be fighting the battle to "save" Serkan on her own. I hope a few other people step up in Episode 30. 
> 
> Check out this video for some of their best moments!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf9FaJ9lWfc&t=1s&ab_channel=ralouspring


End file.
